February is on its way. I will be 23 soon, yet I am still single. I write to you for I have been struck by your arrows far too much; each time the lady of my desire leads me to a broken heart with me ripping out your arrows in gruesome pain — the kind of pain that leaves no flesh wound yet leaves a lasting pain in the heart. Maybe this year you can throw me a bone? Strike a lady in my presence instead of me?
I have attached a picture of who I would like you to strike with your archery skills. You know the drill. Make sure her line of sight is fixated on me first.
If you can’t get her it’s cool. I kinda have a crush on this other girl but again I feel…
Also I think you should switch to a compound bow ‘cuz, really, that short bow you be using is straight up outdated homie. The compound bow will give you more draw length and foot pound force per pound. It will increase your range and give you a serious punch when penetrating people’s hearts. Just ask Ares to craft you one; I’m sure he is capable.
Sincerely,
AJ
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